Hey 👋🏽,

Dog has been pooping next to my significant other’s side of the bed. In the movie version of our lives it would be comical probably but tiring of mashing feces into the oriental carpet SO rightfully demanded a return to dog training. This land is our land.

We walk in infinite loops for minutes that feel like hours, trying to get in sync with each other. Our trainer cues us slowly at first and then quickly. I learn a new way to walk, leash loose, shoulders square, anticipating his movements to correct him before he can tug towards another dog or a tempting stick. Despite our trainer’s mostly patient reminders I mostly forget how to unite words with action, shouting NO without symmetrical reinforcement, doubting my knee jerk reactions.

He’s not a bad dog. With each cue, I see how I have created our bedroom pooping monster. Shouting

OFF

when he jumps up out of his crate in the morning, still bending down to greet him instead of standing tall and stoic until he sits patiently. Allowing him to pull me forward instead of changing direction until he falls into step with me. Letting him out of the crate because the barking is driving me crazy and I have work to do rather than ignoring him until he falls silent and rewarding good behavior. Doing what’s easy in the short term without considering how much harder it makes our lives in the long term.

Dogs thrive with rules and consistency. As I walk each step in my shame spiral I understand the work needed to unf*ck my dog. Lead, don’t follow. Reward the good, address the bad. All of it. Be active, directive in each small moment because combined they create his disposition. I create his disposition. Our trainer likens dog discipline to practicing a sport, repeating the same motion everyday, even for 10-15 minutes, to replace bad habits with better ones. Model what’s right a thousand times.

For 7 hours on Wednesday we sat in a collective shame spiral, watching the culmination of our cumulative allowance of “little” stuff disrespect and embarrass us on a world stage. Understanding in another moment of awakening that the big changes we need to make in this country continue with our everyday decisions and actions. What we demand of ourselves and allow of each other. Accepting personal responsibility for our ability to make an impact in each moment, refusing to give anyone a pass or look the other way. Starting again today one moment and one person at a time.

There’s a moment during each session where I’ve been mindful enough for long enough that dog turns to me before each decision point. While walking toward a stick, anticipating a turn we’re about to make, silently asking for permission to greet another dog. He knows the path of least resistance is to follow my lead; acting out will not be allowed or rewarded. These moments are a glimmer of success, of a better future should the hard work continue. Let’s create and celebrate those glimmers this week and always and stay the course on the hard work required to change the disposition of our nation. Forward.

I see you, I love you, together we are unstoppable,