I gave away my senior prom dress two weeks ago. It was hung in 5.5yo’s closet with several other relics from the land before time. It had survived 8 moves only to be hung up and promptly forgotten about. I’m not sure why I’d kept it for so long; in touching the layers of tailored tulle before stuffing it into a bag for the Salvation Army I remembered saving up to buy it. I’d stockpiled allowance and cashed saving bonds from my grandparents to purchase it on a high school trip to Miami that almost hadn’t happened because of a real fake ID but that’s a story for another time.

We hold onto things long after they outlive their usefulness. Things: possessions, relationships, limiting beliefs, habits, stories we tell ourselves. Maybe we’ll need that thing later! Our experience of the present is created by the decisions our past selves made for our future selves, intentionally or otherwise. Everyday we get to change our minds but it’s easier not to.

There have been many moments recently that have created decision points between acting as the past, present or future version of myself. Maybe it’s moving, a forcing function to let go of attachments to stuff. Maybe it’s the superficial confidence of doing yoga everyday for a month and getting a Guinness world record setting 30 reps of practice in the ancient art of letting go. Maybe it’s getting tired of holding on too tight. Maybe it’s maybelline.

To move forward, to start again, we have to make space for new possibilities, simultaneously acknowledging and breaking free from the previous versions of ourselves. One “thing” at a time. One thing at a time.

I see you, I love you, enjoy the snow day east coast friends,